Letting Go: Be Patient With Yourself

Draft: February 11th, 2019

Letting go, is a form of self-care.

Letting go of the need to control every aspect of my life has been a common theme that I’m ready to speak on transparently. I owe it to myself to free the space in my mind for more positive thinking.

Continuously placing myself on my own intended timeline in life has created great anxiety, it has erased the JOY I feel in the current moment and often times it makes me feel unworthy.

In fact, I deem myself to be successful, smart, grateful and a woman who is led by God. On some days, it’s hard for me to see the beauty I’ve fought to gain in life because I’m wasting time trying to control every aspect of it.

Gratitude

Having a heart of gratitude goes along with the optimism I carry on a daily basis but I’ve reflected on the idea that I need to do more. It’s easy for us to list the things we are grateful for and I personally have a gratitude journal that I spend time with but what if I began to do more? I began practicing gratitude by verbally expressing to others that I am grateful for the space they hold in my life. I’m grateful for overall forgiveness, forgiveness of myself and the forgiving heart that God is continuously working through with me. I’ve allowed more space and I’ve shown others ways in which I have become more forgiving. I’ve interrupted my daily anxiety with gratitude.

Fear, Fear of Letting Go

I recently had a talk with my therapist about the fear that is attached with “letting go” for me. The fear that if I let go and I don’t have a grasp of what’s going on in my life, I begin to feel like I’m caught up in my own personal tornado. I have this idea, that I need to have control of the things that I apply for, experience and the beautiful things that enter into my life.

Above, this was a blog post that has sat in my draft box since February 11th. Life got to me and I lost grasp of my creativity and I fell of my personal timeline of completing creative projects.

During the month of February, I was stretched to capacity. Stretched in uncomfortable, creative yet successful ways. I found myself in spaces that were often dark and I was in the valley. But I’ve also found myself on the mountain and in spaces where I learned quite a bit about myself, my ability to be patient was tested and my overall FAITH had been tested.

I’m blessed beyond measure. I say that out loud to myself every morning.

Within the two months that I began this blog post above, I started writing during an era of self-doubt and negative self-talk. I can now say that I’ve found light and blessings within my personal struggles. It was hard to cope during my challenging times because I didn’t find the JOY in my writing anymore.

Since then, I my writing has been featured in websites and blogs I read daily to find my personal light.

I’ve relocated to a new city, started a new job, blessed to say that I will be starting my doctoral journey later this year and I am continuously growing in LOVE.

Remember to be kind to yourself.

End Goal: Self-Compassion

"I challenge you to give yourself kindness."

My therapist spoke those words to me and I slightly cringed at the thought of, "I try my hardest to do such a thing - I think I do a good job at it." But the reality of the situation is, I don't. There is always more room to grow, to give and be a beacon of light to myself just a bit more. 

I'm the hardest on myself, I can admit. 

Maybe because I am the one deep down inside who truly knows what I am capable of, so when I produce anything less I can be super critical of myself. 

My profession and natural aptitude of communication, care and compassion has me conditioned to always put others first - continuously pushing out that kindness at often times forgetting about myself. 

I struggle with this concept of telling temporary people permanent things because I love seeing the good in people and I love communication among others; but then I feel bad for opening up. I'm challenging myself with the idea that maybe, just maybe I am teaching someone something along the way with my words. 

Writing deadlines creep upon me like no other, I am critical on myself if I don't have a particular flow because again, I get the final say, right? I'm challenging myself to be more accepting of my work and realizing that it may inspire another. 

I challenge you to give yourself more kindness and grace along the way. Along the way of navigating valid feelings.

Being kind to my body also serves a meaningful purpose. 

“Loving every inch of me from my hair follicles to my toes”

We both will work through the journey of wrapping ourselves in kindness, joy and love.

Self-Compassion is the end goal. 

Gentle Reminder

Recognizing where I've been these last couple of weeks hasn't been easy. 

It hasn't been easy admitting that I need help in various areas. It hasn't been easy recognizing that I've been ignoring my own mental health to appease others and it definitely hasn't been easy trying to explain to others the space I've been in lately. 

Between various transitions, countless amount of hours spent at work, maintaining multiple budgets and trying to squeeze date nights in where I can; it's been tough. 

A few things have warmed my heart this past week. The simple things in life, like being surprised with sunflowers, having students shower me with words of affirmations at the most unexpected times and overall realizing that I am the light in someone else's dark days. It makes me smile, it brings me peace, it truly is a blessing within itself. 

One of the things that I have tried to remember during challenging times is that, they don't last always. Challenging times are presented to us at times to spark a fire within us, to strengthen us and to overall show us the beauty that others may see in us on days that we can't even see it ourselves. 

This is a simple reminder for anyone going through a storm, anyone struggling with patience and for those during their season of harvest - your abundance is coming. 

Love always. 

Letter to my Younger Self

Hey Young One,

Smile, because you want to. Not due to someone else's inability to see your joy and falsely label you. Smile because brighter days are coming and you are here to accept them fully.

Love yourself first. Love yourself first because no one else can give you the self-love, compassion and fulfillment that you must seek within. The journey to self-love isn't easy but allow yourself time to develop. Comparing yourself to someone else's self-love journey will not allow yours to flourish more brightly, it only weakens your pedals. Your pedals are intended to produce love, joy, bright colors, dull colors and everything in between in its own time.

I want you to understand that what you give may not be given back in return but you're a natural giver which means you have to know when to say no. You have to know when to say enough is enough. When you give others pieces of you that require time, energy, and emotion, understand that you are making an investment in which you may or may not get back. So I advise you to learn this as early as you can, but it is okay if you stumble and fall

You cannot pour from an empty cup.

You will be labeled professional, poised, sassy, angry, challenging, tough, conceited, not good enough, difficult, over-achieving, and witty and the list may continue. Just know that the ones who label you aren't writing your story, you are. As you are writing your story, please note that not everyone will subscribe, understand the grammatical errors or know that there are many run-on sentences. Do you. Be You.

Understand that every heartbreak, upset, temporary failure and milestone you reach is for a reason far beyond your understanding. Each setback is a setup for a comeback that will put you in a far better place than you imaged.

You fall hard. You will fall hard. Failed relationships are meant to teach you. Follow your dreams, live out your goals, be a beacon of light to others; there is time. The guy you end up with early on will not be the guy you are within moments to come, but know that over time developing a relationship with self is more valuable than a heartbreak will ever be. Give yourself time to grow, develop and be great!

Develop relationships with others, but also know that when you begin to feel disconnected have a self-check moment and remind yourself that you are worthy.

No need to put all your eggs in one basket. Why? The reason why is because the plans you have set, God has already laughed at and thought otherwise. Where you are now, is not where you thought you'd be a year ago. Trusting him is the best thing you can do along this journey.

“Trying to untangle my knots, Is like telling the ocean to visit quietly”

— Watering Her Roots (H.Macon)

You will evolve into a strong, innovative, brave young woman. Not everyone will be able take on the confidence that you possess. Some won't understand your joy and that's okay. See, they haven't seen where you've been, they don't know where you're going. They don't know what you are capable of? They have no idea. Melanin, Magic, and Magnificence, keep striving.

Lastly, Heather, I want you to give yourself the Grace, kindness and Encouragement that you deserve. Not always hearing it when you needed it along this journey, may hold weight. Understand that you are shaping lives by the day and that matters. Even though you may not hear it, know that your knowledge, growth and power inspires someone.

I'm writing this letter to you because I want you to know that throughout this journey you will grow, you will be tested, you will fail. Hear me, you will fail. But failure is what is going to make you into a strong, courageous woman who in fact will be confident within herself to withstand what is thrown her way. You will be taken on various journeys that the lord intends for you because he wants you to be molded in his image. You can AND WILL weather the storm.

Week Collections: Embrace The Gem You Are

Some weeks are better than others but nonetheless, I am grateful and I'm continuously practicing gratitude. 

This week, I was challenged with fatigued, anxiety, and I wasn't as productive as I would have liked with a few personal projects. But alongside that journey, I was also graced with love, countless amounts of self-care and I remembered to surround myself around those who were good for my mental health. 

By the end of Friday evening, I was sitting in my living room eating cornbread, re-creating my vision board and watching documentary after documentary on the royal family; and I gathered my week reflections:

“I allowed myself to open up to someone, erasing the fear of vulnerability ”

Continue To Enhance My Light

"Jenifer, everybody loves you. You're talented, you're fun, you're fabulous. You just come off as intimidating. You need to calm down girl." - Mother of Black Hollywood (Jenifer Lewis) 

A title in my summer reading challenge happens to be Jenifer Lewis's memoir - and I tell you, when I read that paragraph, I re-read it, I re-read it. I won't spoil the chapter and/or the outcome of the chapter but I will say, it allowed me to understand that it's okay to be authentically you. There will be some folks that consider you a gem while also categorizing you as  a threat in their life. 

“I re-visited the idea that people do not mind seeing you do well, not at all - but the celebration stops when their insecurities arise”

Evaluation of Support

I often remind myself of this deep, yet chilling statement: "no one has to support you, but be thankful for the ones that do." I have to remind myself of that when I begin to become sulky and questionable of those closest to me - when I don't receive the support I assume I should be getting and/or the support I feel as though I deserve from those meaningful relationships. 

I'm a internal processor but for me I also recognize that there is peace in reaching out for a second opinion to gain clarity on a situation. I usually do this with an honest person who sees me better than I see myself and will correct me where I'm wrong. There are a few moments where I feel as though I can be too sensitive to a situation or not look at the bigger picture. I can admit that.

It meant a lot to me to hear the words, "you are doing more than enough, accomplishing great things and you must realize that just because someone that means a lot to you isn't as expressive as someone who you wouldn't expect does not mean they don't recognize the amazing things your're doing." The stubbornness in me immediately responded with "yeah, I know but ..." Then I began to remind myself of who it is that I am. A person who continuously allows myself grace, self-celebrates and is going to continue to strive regardless of the outcome. So why not grant that same grace. 

“Hearing “I’m so proud of you” when you really feel like you aren’t doing enough really does lift a lot of weight off of you ...”

I'm Human

I feel. I have emotions, no matter how much I try to block them out. It's okay to cry, but in the words of Jenifer Lewis "Don't Sit in Sh-t Too Long!" It's okay for me to recognize when I've had enough and I want to voice that. No matter how many times I try to rise above what is reflective, it's okay to communicate how I truly feel. There are people who will remind me that I'm human and that I too am allowed to feel. 

I took away a deeper appreciation of the authentic relationships in my life, the importance of honesty with myself and the overall theme of recognizing that I am doing enough without validation. 

Current Summer Read: The Mother of Black Hollywood - Jenifer Lewis

If you have some time, please watch this interview below - major gems and wisdom. I'm glad I am reading her memoir and taking away some reflection during this chapter in my life. 

May Her Roots Be Watered

May, 

I'm taking the time to continue to celebrate myself and all the accomplishments, achievements, joys (regardless of the size) and overall milestones I've reached. 

It was early morning, before the sun rise when we met. The feeling of new beginnings overwhelmed me and the thought of entering a new season brought an upward curve to me face. 

During National Poetry month, I was able to see the fruits of my labor by releasing a well-overdue project, but a project that allowed me to share my truths, swim in my own self-affirmations and shed light on the importance of healing, growth and abundance. 

"Watering Her Roots," is indeed an introduction as to how I am going to continue to live out my life, polish my crown and walk with Grace. 

May, my focus is alignment; I've been in a great place and I owe that to the  development of the mindset supporting release. If it's for me, it's for me. If something isn't for me, it will easily slip from my grasp and I will pray for peace. 

Forgiveness is on the forefront of my mind and will be the theme blended with expressions of gratitude as we make it to the halfway mark of 2018. 

I am attracting everything that is for my highest good. New opportunities, new energy, new mindset and new connections. 

A Letter To The Woman Who Struggles To Celebrate Herself

To the woman who struggles to celebrate herself, 

I see you. 

Although you may feel as though the crown you wear is chipped, over-sized, and at times too heavy to carry, you and your accomplishments still matter. Your successes and accomplishments are still valid no matter the size, journey or criticized judgment from others around you.

At times, you allow your anxiety to trump your creativity and your own happiness. I'm writing to you because I want to share a message: what you accomplish, create and work toward is larger than that defeat. It may be tough, letting the vibes of anxiety and weariness pass a frequency to you that presses you down making you believe that your self celebrations don't matter. 

Last week, my fellow Queen had to pass a gentle reminder to myself, celebrating yourself is the first step to self-care. If you don't celebrate you first, how can you allow others to celebrate and support you?

Playing superwoman is in your nature. It's invested in you to help, heal and listen to others but who is your superwoman. It can be you, if you allow it to be. You can give yourself the surprise dinners, positive affirmations and pats on the back for accomplishing a milestone no matter the weight. 

No matter how small the accomplishment or how large the failure, the first step is recognizing that you put in the effort to go toward something you wanted. It can be easy to swim into a sea of regret or trip on our words but what matters most is that you tried. 

Struggling with perfectionism is something that has caused blockage in my own journey to celebrating myself; so I'm writing this letter to share that there is beauty in imperfection. Although it may be hard to see, there is someone else who finds your courage, strength and compassion motivating so don't dim your own light.

You can't always expect others to be excited about what God is doing in your life, but what you can work toward is more self-celebration. Your accomplishments are not measured by how many applauds you receive, how many "likes" or comments are posted and your accomplishments are truly not defined by how much someone else accepts them.

You eagerly wait for the "we regret to inform you .." rejection or you expect the worst when submitting your best work. You consistently put your best foot forward but forget to allow yourself grace in the process. At times your charisma and laughter can light up a room but behind closed doors you secretly hide the fact that you are battling between being proud of your current accomplishments and being too hard on yourself, your own worst enemy saying "you need to go a little harder."

As stated above, allow yourself grace. 

You often silence yourself and your accomplishments due to fear of outshining someone else or being criticized for having the motivation and courage to go toward something they may actually want but are too afraid themselves; GO FOR IT. 

Don't allow yourself to be a victim of self sabotage, celebrate your joy and the need to want to see your accomplishments come to fruition. 

There is value in reflecting on how far you've come. To see yourself and the growth you've made over the years is something within itself to celebrate. The habits you've broken, the relationships you've ended, the toxicity that you've wiped clean out of your life has helped you elevate to new heights, it deserves a celebration. 

So when you pick up your pen to create art, when you book a solo trip, when you apply for that job or institution, most importantly when you overall do something that you want to do that allows all your courage, strength and self-belief, celebrate yourself and it's accomplishment.

Celebrate yourself more in 2018 and beyond! Acknowledge even the small accomplishments. 

To the woman who struggles to celebrate herself,

I see you. 

Signed,

A black woman working toward celebrating herself, her crown and all the failures that make the successes worth it!

Twenty Seventeen: Stumbling Into Healing

I'm finishing 2017 with everything I have left. 

It's been a year of triumph, joy, challenges, blessings, clearer pathways, letting go, priority toward opportunities that matter and shedding of old ways that has caused blockage. I can say this has been one of the most introspective, challenging, rewarding, eye-opening, fulfilling and overbearing years. The greatest gift in which I can say I awarded myself this year has been turning my wounds into wisdom by wrapping up my self-written project, a collection of poetry, prose and letters; available early 2018. 

I made it through the holidays; a challenging time of half smiles, broken laughter, this overbearing feeling of almost cracking under pressure and overall trying to maintain healthy boundaries of self-care, focus and remembering the true meaning of the season. I struggled with the thought of being selfish and taking a solo trip or spending time with family through exhaustion, anxiety and self-disappointment. But I made it! 

I'm labeling this past year, MY YEAR of transition, change, journeying, development and birthing. 

“Healing doesn’t come with warning labels. You aren’t notified ahead of time that the feeling of letting go hurts more than the pain itself.”

— Heather J. Macon

This year, I felt as though I had been knocked on my rear a few times with no one to help or hear me; within that, I also learned that I silence myself and I don't share. With a yearning for those to "check on your strong friend," what good does it do when you aren't honest with yourself or the ones checking in? Due to relocation, burn out and trying to adjust to new living spaces I felt as though I missed out on engagements, births, meet-ups and life of those who mattered most. I had my own celebrations and accomplishments; but I was hard on myself for not showing up and being available to those who mattered most. Self-forgiveness was an essential component to this year. 

I learned that letting go of what no longer serves you is an essential part of growth and self-care. This year, I've let go of jobs, writing assignments, relationships, one-sided friendships and even some poor habits that weren't allowing me to reach new heights both physically and mentally. This year, reflecting on wisdom, I began to truly understand that elevation does require isolation; it has helped me soar through the feeling of "loneliness." Through letting go, I gained clarity, peace, new challenges and a stronger appreciation of me. 

Showing up for myself served a new meaning when I truly began to reflect on my strength, courage and overall knowledge gained through what I thought I was punishment! The growth I've accomplished as a woman; I've learned how to protect my own well-being a bit more, decide what's best for me on the first try and embrace my willingness to be open-minded. 

With everything I endured this past year, negative, positive, elevating, liberating and tear-wrenching; I paid more attention to my mental health, began to put me first; practicing self-care more than ever. I embraced healthy conversations and said YES to therapy. I began to realize that being my biggest advocate, supporter and giver was beginning to be a bit over-bearing and that there were others willing to help - reaching out more is a goal of mine I'm working on.  

As time passes, you will rekindle relationships that deserve to be nourished and some that no longer serve a purpose to you and your being; a lesson that I've learned within that is someone can make you feel rejuvenated, happy, hopeful and you'll express gratitude far more than ever while some relationships can be draining, suck you bone dry and leave you feeling less than purposeful. I'm grateful for the feeling of both accomplishment and struggle. 

“Patience seems like an enemy during a time of healing, but I’m willing to mend a friendship with the virtue itself ...”

— Heather J. Macon (Virtue)

With 2018 approaching, I am no longer apologizing for self-advocacy and my ability to do great things; my name is laced with purpose and it's time that I start living in my truth with full intention. My mind, body, soul and spirit along with my financial, mental and physical well-being is what I am prioritizing. 

The consistencies in this life are blessings! 

Thank you, 

Heather J. Macon

Respect My Harmony Of The Season

I've reached this time of year where I begin to cringe at the sound of holiday music or I find myself wishing the holidays would pass, the weather to become warmer and the candy would go on sale at 75%. No, I'm not a Grinch, at least I don't think I am, I'm not ashamed to be single during the holidays and I don't really think I mind the travel and cost.

Nope, it's deeper than that. I still make a Christmas list and vow to do something nice for myself and loved ones, but it's a feeling. It's indescribable at most, but I felt myself slowly getting caught up in my own personal tornado, my holiday blues. 

I'm truly respectful of anyone's love and appreciation of the holidays and what this time of years means to them but I also wish my feelings, expectations and reasoning for not being in the spirit was respected as well. We talk about the "holiday blues" and what that looks like all around but I think some of us truly forget that sometimes our personal stories play a really big part in how we view things in life.

Growing up, holidays were okay. The tree went up every year, some winters were colder than others but there was also a darkness associated with the holidays for some reason. I'm not sure if it was because I didn't have a large-extended family, it didn't resemble what other holidays looked like or if I was just expecting a sea of disappointments whether is be family, friends, death, electricity or simply not having a set of grandparents to celebrate with. 

Still not sure. 

As I've gotten older, I realize that I travel often, move around quite a bit, I'm not attached to one specific place and my experiences around the holidays are always in waves. 2017 has taken me, shaken me up a bit, made me uncomfortable and has had me moving at a quick rapid pace. I'm tired. Now, with all that, I found myself questioning if I'd be selfish or not to take a trip out of the country for the holidays, to simply spend it alone. I've contemplated on that thought only because you would think that no one wants to simply be "alone" for the holidays, right? 

I'm not sure if it's the nature of my job, the amount of people in my life that I don't feel connected to or just simply this notion of this not being my favorite time of the year. It's almost like a silent judgement when you tell someone you don't like the fall, the cold, the holiday music, etc. I still consider myself in good spirits, I STILL communicate with my family but I also know what was not present in my life throughout the years around this time of year that truly still does play a role in how I view the holidays as I get older. 

Will I ever grow out of it, I'm not sure. Do I share my story with others, yes, but I am also mindful of not taking up to much space with my blues and I STILL know how to celebrate this time of year with those who find the joy in it. 

I told myself last night that my self-care during this upcoming holiday break would be to finish Gabrielle Union's memoir, indulge in one Netflix show of my choosing and spend one day doing completely, NOTHING. I have made maybe one-step in that direction but there is still time for my goal to be accomplished. 

Sometimes I think that we can become so caught up in what makes us feel sulky and we forget that we can validate our own true feelings and take steps to moving on; in our own time, no one elses.

My gratitude journal has been growing, prayers have become bolder and my self-forgiveness has gotten a whole lot better. 

Season Of Mellow Fruitfulness

November, 

I feel like you and I frequently meet on the basis of understanding. I'm trying to understand how to navigate through a season of giving and embracing loved ones, specifically on days when I need to be embraced. 

I begin to reflect beyond the surface of myself, I've become rich instantly as I begin to count my blessings. I become full when I begin to feed my appetite of giving, my expectations lessen as I see others with less than me. 

November, you creep up in the worst way possible. My holiday blues play with without skips, and the record is the same. I'm grateful for the season but missing a key element each time around. 

Time begins to move faster toward the completion of the year, I think of the projects I've yet to complete or the goals I still have to crush. November, you allow me time to reflect and PAUSE while gracefully accepting the concept of change.  

Taking things for granted dulls the brightest colors and I've learned to appreciate the beauty around me and within my beautiful soul. 

Thank you. 

Closed For Self-Care: A Well Deserved Break For You.

Sorry we're closed. 

Yes, Me, Myself & I. 

You know that dreadful feeling you get when you walk up to a store with hopes that they will be open, even if it's only the last 5 minutes. Your mind is completely set on what it is that you need, if only you could have made it on time before you read: Sorry, we're closed. 

Sunday evening self-care is always a time of reflection for me. I develop new ways of thinking, I often meditate on how I am going to approach the week and I challenge myself to practice patience better than the week before. Sounds nice right? I agree, it does. But one thing I fail at continuously is extending myself a little too much to others without even checking in with myself. I quite frequently find myself drained, drained from all the unhealthy conversations I allow in my personal space, the subscriptions I have to other people's issues and the challenges I face daily personally while still finding time to help others and commit to extra projects.  

Well, I am closed; closed for personal care, closed for personal maintenance, closed for self-care. 

I've taken my services off the shelf, I am no longer marking my time as a "clearance" item and I am definitely returning all items described as other people's "mess." 

What good are we to others if we aren't good to ourselves first? How often do we listen to the lives of others and all of their negativity until it begins to weigh heavy? I often sit, reflect and I’ve come up with a valid conclusion, close for two-weeks for some re-modeling. Better yet, maybe you should close for as long as you need to. 

Remodeling is checking in with self; it’s finding new ways to care for yourself and pay attention to your own wants & needs. You don't have to respond to texts right away, you don't need to be at someone's beck & call, you surely don't need to put your own well-being on the back burner. If you're similar to me, you've naturally taken on the role as a healer/giver, listener, and someone who can fix everything with just lending an ear. Yes, those attributes are great, I often am flattered to take on any leadership capability if needed, offer advice and pour into others; it was done for me, and for that I am truly grateful. But there comes a time when you will hit burn-out, compassion fatigue and eventually that can turn into bitterness. 

At times the same love, compassion, genuine helpfulness and frequent check-ins aren't always offered in return but it's furthermore a supporting factor to shut down business. Shut down for self-care for as long as you may need. 

My sign will read:

"We're closed. The mind, body and soul of a continuous giver needs this time to check-in with self. We are closed for fertilization and growth in multiple areas that contribute to personal well-being. If you've stopped by to complain, nag, whine and only think about yourself, turn around, drink some water and do a self-check-in. See you soon.

I encourage you to check-in with yourself and decide when you need to close and for how long. When you re-open what will be different? What will you discontinue, take off the shelf and not allow to return to your space?

We must first serve ourselves, fall deeply in love with the fact that our own mental well-being and desires come first.

Heather J. Macon

Self-Focused: A Positive Kind of Selfish

In your thoughts is a dangerous place to get lost. 

We begin to evaluate, re-evaluate, become acquainted with self-doubt, become to hard on ourselves and find items to place on extensive to-do lists.

When I've been on wild journeys through my mind, I've found that in my thoughts is a place where I deeply reflect, I accept myself, I question myself, I praise myself and at times I'm too hard on myself. I found myself asking a question, why is it that we focus solely more on the fear of being labeled "selfish" than the actual outcome of being selfish with ourselves?

I've struggled with this before, and at times, I STILL fall. 

It took me a nice amount of time before I truly started living for me, making decisions that made ME happy, saying no with no explanation, trying new things, developing new habits, etc. There was always this notion of being too selfish, or always on the move or not thinking of anyone but myself. But why is that a problem? Why must we factor everyone or everything into the decisions that we make?

Self-Focused. 

Choosing to focus on your wildest dreams IS NOT Selfish. 

Placing value on yourself IS NOT Selfish. 

Doing what's best for you, even during your darkest hour IS NOT Selfish. 

Seeking self-love and self-acceptance before focusing on anyone else IS NOT Selfish. 

Understanding the importance of positive Self-Focus IS NOT Selfish.

Ridding yourself of toxic people IS NOT Selfish. 

Caring for self IS NOT Selfish. 

Understand that you must give yourself the best version of love before you can offer it to anyone else. It's something that's easier said than done and at times we learn the hard way. We learn by failing, and I wouldn't be who I am today if I hadn't failed a few times and gave myself multiple chances to get it right. 

People may not understand the decisions you make or the actions you take, but that's it, nobody has to understand. Do what YOU feel is best and what makes you happy. As long you understand and remain true to yourself, you'll never lose sleep. I know I may be criticized for the goals and decisions I have made for this upcoming season, but that's ok. I'm fine.

Self-Focused. 

“Do what makes you happy without explaining yourself. ”

— Heather J.

Artwork by: Nicholle Kobi